Let's be honest for a moment.
I learned, long ago, that I was in this world alone. No one was going to come and rescue me. No one was going to provide for me. No one was waiting for my phone call. No one was going to protect me. No one was going to be there when I most desperately needed someone.
I learned quickly to be an independent individual, relying on people as little as possible. This of course was difficult as a child, but by the age of 8 I had a pretty strong grasp on how to care for myself and my siblings. By the age of 9 I was traveling several miles to and from school in various routes and with various younger people. At 13, I made my own schedule, pleasing as many people as I could within a 24 hour period. I knew the bus routes, train schedules, and backways to and from places I needed to be by age 15. By the time I was 18, I knew how to seek help from homeless shelters, talk my way out of several types of not-so-great situations and pay bills on time. At 19, I had my very own apartment, was working several jobs, and went to college.
An independent woman. Not needing anything from anyone. I knew what I had to do and I did it. I survived. I made it happen. No one came to help me. Sure people were there, cheering me on, being an option for transportation or shelter every once in a while. But still, it was all on me to survive.
Then. Came. Tonight.
My independent background kicked into hyper gear when my car suddenly made a horrible noise and stopped working. Even once shifted into park, my car was rolling down the hill. I had two teens in my car. What was I to do? I was stranded on the side of the road, not expecting this to happen tonight, with two kids, and no money to pay out big bucks for fixing or for a new vehicle. I pulled myself together, couldn't let the kids see the tears building behind my eyes or the fear that pulsed through my veins. I made a phone call.
Not only did my mechanic friend answer the call, he left work early, walked me through the process, sat with me while we waited for the tow truck, bought me something to eat, and than worked on my car for several hours. His wife, being the amazing friend she is, had no problem letting him drop his husband/father duties for the night to come to my aid. As he worked on the car, I got to hang out with two awesome kiddos.
As I reflected on everything that was happening, I was overwhelmed with emotions I had never felt before and thoughts that had never entered my mind before. Someone had dropped their responsibilities to be there when I need them. Someone had chosen to come when I asked for help. How had this happened? No one has ever done that type of thing for me before. Every time I've reached out to someone in the past, it has not ended well.
The message I received from every previous attempts at asking someone for help in an "emergency" type of situation has been: "You are not worthy of my time. You are not important to me. Figure it out yourself. Don't bother me." And yet, here, tonight, on the side of the road, a man placed in my life (only by God's perfect design), by simply answering the phone and showing up, has shattered that message. He and his family have shown me what it means to have people that I can count on when it matters most.
I'm not saying my fears about people are fixed or the long-time, misguided beliefs are just gone all the sudden. That's just not plausible. But today, I was overcome with the knowledge that those beliefs are not from God and that God has placed people in my life to break those old beliefs. Tonight, I was not in someone's way, I was not an inconvenience, I was not alone. Someone cared enough about me to not leave me on the side of the road to figure it all out by myself. Tonight, I had someone.
And while he may never read this and never know just what an impact his actions had on my life-long held misconceptions about life and people, I will never forget. Tonight, and from this moment on, I will remember his actions and how he, and his family, was there for help. Even the little one who was so excited to help his daddy fix my car. This night, will not be forgotten, and for completely different reasons than my car breaking down.
