Tonight as I sit in the kitchen, after a evening babysitting, reading one of the "Mercy For" books, I am reminded of what I learned during my time at Mercy Ministries. The last two months I spent in the Mercy home were the most freeing months. I had surrendered to God's plan even though I wanted out sooner. I woke up every morning excited about what was to come. I took my "Cap-sules" (inside Mercy joke) of God's truth every morning before 9am. I was taking care of my body in ways I never knew I could. I was loved and I knew it. And I was genuinely happy with my life despite all the junk in it.
Now, almost three years after I walked out of the doors of Mercy, I have been trying to get that feeling back. The feeling of connectedness to God and knowing without a doubt that I was loved and headed in the right direction. Over the years the Mercy sisters I knew at the home have gone in different directions. They have gone back to their dysfunctional homes and have become victims to the devil's world once again. Only a few that I have kept in touch with are doing well - though many graduates of Mercy do extremely well, some of the ones I kept in touch with lost the freedom they received.
I have been so fortunate to be in a wonderful church community where I am poured into on a regular basis. I also have the privilege of "unofficially" mentoring a handful of girls as well. And though I am far from perfect and struggle-free, I remember what it is I learned at Mercy.
God is truth, love and joy. Satan is a liar, destroyer and thief.
My time at Mercy Ministries gave me this amazing ability to take the chatter of the devil and the clutter of the world captive. I have the Voice of Truth so deeply rooted in my soul, that I can fight my enemy any time, any where. Speaking aloud that I am the kid of the King and my sins were cleansed the day Jesus gave up His life for my soul. Satan likes to scream at the top of his lungs and the distractions of the world are very demanding. However, that Voice of Truth likes to speak in the quietness and Mercy was able to help me tune in to the quiet spaces.
My life is not perfect. I still have a very dysfunctional family that I cannot let back into my life any time soon. Yet, I am so incredibly grateful for the life God has given me. That wasn't true three and a half years ago when yet another suicide attempt failed. And it definitely wasn't how I felt 7 years ago when my daily life was a living hell (inside and outside the home).
Today, I have friends that I love. I have children that call me "Aunt" because I am close with their families. I am blessed to be in a church where I can serve and be fed. The job God has blessed with me is filled with strong, courageous women that call me a "baby" and give me hope for my future and comes with great benefits. I have a car that transports me where I need to be (may be a very old junker, but it works and its paid off). And I am learning how to give back to girls who have been victims of horrible crimes. God has placed me on the path of going on a mission trip to Cambodia next year and has blessed that road already. This life I live today, so radically different from three and half a years ago, is more than I could have ever imagined and it only gets better with every sunrise!
I am overwhelmed with the life that Mercy Ministries prepared me for and the eternal gifts I received while there. With a renewed mind and refreshed soul, I continue on my journey to knowing God more intimately and serving Him more passionately.
My God truly is a miracle worker and I am thankful for today!
