So, I'm sitting at this computer...next to a window. It's really cold out there, but I'm pretty warm inside. It's supposed to be snowing and all icky and gray. But the sun keeps shinning through the clouds that are moving east. The sun....
I'm reminded that my life is supposed to be cloudy and icky and gray and stormy. I'm reminded that at one point in my life that's how it was predicted to turn out. It would always be that way. I don't know who was the predictor (I'm not sure that's a word but you know what I mean), I'm guessing it was a storm itself. But...The Sun....The Son....
The Son came into my life. The Light. The Warmth. The Comfort. The Peace. The Cool Breeze. The Perfect Weather. The Perfect Day. It all came into my heart. Cleared away the clouds. The lightening stopped. The rain dwindled and the Son began to shine.
And now, every once in awhile, that storm comes back, trying to make its way back into my sun-shinny day. It comes with a cold-front. Then the rain falls heavily. Thunder and lightening roar and do not let up. Eventually the snow turns into a snow blizzard, taking over my life, locking my indoors, isolating me from those outside the storm. There's no safety. I'm lost in a whirlwind of the storm. It's ripping my world apart. There's nothing I can do.
But the Son....
I reach for Him. I call to Him. I don't even know what I'm saying except, "help." I cry out. I read His Word and Promises. I know the calm is coming. The storm cannot lost forever. My Helper is Peace. My Storm Calmer calls back. I hear Him with His army of Angels coming to my rescue. He brings His Heart close to mine and the snow melts. The clouds disappear. The sun comes out again and the grass is green. The breeze is perfect. He's back in control. The storm never had a chance to survive in my life.
And it's official. I have a Rescuer. He helps me in my time of distress. He keeps me close and He hears me when I call. I have a Father who loves me more than I can ever imagine. He takes great care of me. He promises me that He will always be with me, even when I feel distant from Him. He takes all my worries and all my burdens! He calms the storm around me and within me. All it takes is one word: "Jesus"
I love Him more than I'll ever understand. And He loves me. Nothing can ever change that. So though the storms may come and try to overtake this sun-shinny day, they will never succeed! My Perfect Day is here with me always! The storms cannot stay!
Thursday, February 19, 2009
Monday, February 9, 2009
A Drive with my Dad
I'm not sure how to start this entry or what it will end up saying. All I know is that I have to write....
Two Sundays ago I was at a conference and on Sunday morning we had a worship service. As I was sitting in my chair, I began to feel overwhelmed by the love of God. He loves all His children soooo deeply and wants nothing more than for them to find their way back home. He showed me their faces and spoke about how He loves them to His very core. Love is Who He is.
Since that day I have found myself paying attention to my thoughts about other people. I've judged, gotten irritated, thought down about others. These thoughts that race threw my mind are not of God. So, I've been reminded to show God's love to everyone I come across. Guide them home by letting God's love shine through. It seems like every day God is trying to teach me more about His love and how my mission in living again is to help show those who are dead how to rise and live in the resurrection power of Christ! But just by simply loving them. Getting to know them. Partaking in some type of activity that builds our friendship. Then, they will see just how different I am from the rest of the world and they will ask questions and I will share with them the transforming power of love my Jesus has used on me. Showing people the door and giving them the chance and ability to walk through.
Well, two nights ago I was on my way home from a wonderful day with my three nieces. But for some reason I couldn't turn down my street, so I kept driving. I took a country road and just kept driving north. I was amazed at what I saw. Fields, covered with snow (but it was as if it was freshly fallen snow because so much melted from the awesome weather we had!). The moon shinning brightly to reveal the beauty of my God. I drove by slowly, taking in the tremendous amount of love I was feeling from God, for myself and for all my brothers and sisters (even the lost ones).
Then, I came up on a few animals who were now road kill. And I heard God tell me that many of His children are much like the animals who have been run over. They are meant to be in the fields and in the woods where it is safe ground. But they get "brave" and venture out into the road without paying attention. They are not fast enough to dodge the cars (sins, bondages, strongholds) that come at them. And the enemy comes to destroy them and wins. But God wants us so much to stay in the fields with Him and not in the dangerous streets.
I took a left on some street. Loved going slow, looking out at the fields. I wanted to pull over and just look but there were no safe places (still a lot of snow banks). I kept hearing God say "Go to them Beloved. Show them My Love." After driving for so long, I realized that I had absolutely no idea where I was. I knew that if I turned around I could get back to where I started. I knew how to retrace my steps. But God just told me to go straight. Then we came to a street that sorta sounded familiar and I turned south. As I followed this street, I knew I wasn't lost because afterall, I could find my way back by turning around. But I was determined to follow God and eventually He led me to the opposite side of my city. A very familiar intersection that I have passed through several times.
Then I got home. I allowed God to take me a completely different way to my final destination. It took me over an hour to get home with this detour, instead of the 4 minutes it would have taken if I just took the path I normally take. And I'm reminded of the Isrealites and how God led them to the desert through Moses to teach them and to stretch them. It took them 40 years to make a 10-day trip. The only difference is that they didn't really learn did they? God was faithful. He provided food and water every day for them. Led them with a cloud in the daytime and a fire in the nighttime. And yet they were still in their slave-mindset and couldn't trust Him fully.
God took me on a journey on Saturday night. He loved on me and called me to love others. He entrusted me with personal time. He cared enough to take the wheel of my car - literally - and take control of my life. I'm so thankful that my Dad cares enough about me and His other children. He's called me to a higher standard.
He's bestowed upon me the mission to help my Beloved brothers and sisters by showing them the familiar road that takes them home and not allow them to turn back and just retrace their steps. After making progress, there is no turning back to the place where you started. It's all foward movement from here. Keep pressing on towards the prize, to which God has called me heavenward! I do love Him, even when the mission feels overwhelming...He is Love!!!
Two Sundays ago I was at a conference and on Sunday morning we had a worship service. As I was sitting in my chair, I began to feel overwhelmed by the love of God. He loves all His children soooo deeply and wants nothing more than for them to find their way back home. He showed me their faces and spoke about how He loves them to His very core. Love is Who He is.
Since that day I have found myself paying attention to my thoughts about other people. I've judged, gotten irritated, thought down about others. These thoughts that race threw my mind are not of God. So, I've been reminded to show God's love to everyone I come across. Guide them home by letting God's love shine through. It seems like every day God is trying to teach me more about His love and how my mission in living again is to help show those who are dead how to rise and live in the resurrection power of Christ! But just by simply loving them. Getting to know them. Partaking in some type of activity that builds our friendship. Then, they will see just how different I am from the rest of the world and they will ask questions and I will share with them the transforming power of love my Jesus has used on me. Showing people the door and giving them the chance and ability to walk through.
Well, two nights ago I was on my way home from a wonderful day with my three nieces. But for some reason I couldn't turn down my street, so I kept driving. I took a country road and just kept driving north. I was amazed at what I saw. Fields, covered with snow (but it was as if it was freshly fallen snow because so much melted from the awesome weather we had!). The moon shinning brightly to reveal the beauty of my God. I drove by slowly, taking in the tremendous amount of love I was feeling from God, for myself and for all my brothers and sisters (even the lost ones).
Then, I came up on a few animals who were now road kill. And I heard God tell me that many of His children are much like the animals who have been run over. They are meant to be in the fields and in the woods where it is safe ground. But they get "brave" and venture out into the road without paying attention. They are not fast enough to dodge the cars (sins, bondages, strongholds) that come at them. And the enemy comes to destroy them and wins. But God wants us so much to stay in the fields with Him and not in the dangerous streets.
I took a left on some street. Loved going slow, looking out at the fields. I wanted to pull over and just look but there were no safe places (still a lot of snow banks). I kept hearing God say "Go to them Beloved. Show them My Love." After driving for so long, I realized that I had absolutely no idea where I was. I knew that if I turned around I could get back to where I started. I knew how to retrace my steps. But God just told me to go straight. Then we came to a street that sorta sounded familiar and I turned south. As I followed this street, I knew I wasn't lost because afterall, I could find my way back by turning around. But I was determined to follow God and eventually He led me to the opposite side of my city. A very familiar intersection that I have passed through several times.
Then I got home. I allowed God to take me a completely different way to my final destination. It took me over an hour to get home with this detour, instead of the 4 minutes it would have taken if I just took the path I normally take. And I'm reminded of the Isrealites and how God led them to the desert through Moses to teach them and to stretch them. It took them 40 years to make a 10-day trip. The only difference is that they didn't really learn did they? God was faithful. He provided food and water every day for them. Led them with a cloud in the daytime and a fire in the nighttime. And yet they were still in their slave-mindset and couldn't trust Him fully.
God took me on a journey on Saturday night. He loved on me and called me to love others. He entrusted me with personal time. He cared enough to take the wheel of my car - literally - and take control of my life. I'm so thankful that my Dad cares enough about me and His other children. He's called me to a higher standard.
He's bestowed upon me the mission to help my Beloved brothers and sisters by showing them the familiar road that takes them home and not allow them to turn back and just retrace their steps. After making progress, there is no turning back to the place where you started. It's all foward movement from here. Keep pressing on towards the prize, to which God has called me heavenward! I do love Him, even when the mission feels overwhelming...He is Love!!!
Friday, February 6, 2009
Fall and Rise Again
Can I be honest? Real honest? Without going into too much detail of course.
This week, I fell. I fell hard. It was the first time since I left Mercy that falling actually hurt and truly scared me. I opened a door and let satan run wild. I took part in a bahavior that was not of God. I struggled with many different things in my past and Wednesday, I did one of those things. I dwelt on my behavior. I considered myself bad and fallen and unable to get up.
It saddens my heart to realize that several people that I truly care about and want to have relationships with, open doors to my soul that should not be opened. I have to take caution with those relationships now, so that I no longer allow satan to reign in my soul, where there is no room for him. And it scared me that I couldn't stop myself. I didn't even realize what I was doing. Which is totally different from my thought process because I can catch a lie and take it captive but the behavior just happened and I already did it before I caught myself and stopped. I was scared and hurt and alone.
And yet, I let him in. Guilt, condemnation, depression, more negative behaviors flying all about my head and heart. Trying to hold me down and keep it a secret. I was willing to just stay down and take my beating. Not even attempting to fight back. I bet the enemy was laughing the whole time. Thought he was succeeding in tearing me down. Little did he know that I would turn to my Dad and do things His way.
I confessed to what happened. I told my accountability partner what scared me and why I did it and how I didn't even know what I was doing. I told her everything. I didn't hold anything back. I even cried, the first time since I've been away from Mercy. And you know what she didn't get mad at me. She didn't rush me. She just listened and when I was done she encouraged me. She put things into perspective.
What happens when a child falls and scrapes their knee or bumbs their head? Those few moments right afterwards are scary, hurtful and lonely. But then Daddy and/or Mommy comes running to their side. Scoops them up in their arms and soothes them. Then a minute later they are back to doing exactly what they were doing bebfore they fell.
Well, my minute last a few hours but oh how great it was when my Dad came to sooth me and pick me back up. He held me close. He refused to let me stay fallen. He refused to let me give in and think that by falling I was no longer strong. He gave me Scriptures that showed His love for me. And this morning after getting back up He had me read Isaiah 62 where He tells me that my name Hephzibah (my delight is in her) and not Desolate. I am the City No Longer Deserted. I am Sought After. He comes to save me. He is my Savior. He redeems me and He rescues me. He is my Perfect Father.
And today I can say that I accepted His forgiveness for my sin. I have forgiven myself for sinning. I have moved on. I've learned from falling. And I know now, more than ever, that God is using me to change the lives of the people around me. And satan will do whatever he can to try and stop God from moving but it will not happen. It cannot happen. And therefore, I am moving foward with my Jesus. Sharing Him with the world so that they too may realize how strong God can be in their weakness! He is sooo Good! And I love Him still, even when I fall!
This week, I fell. I fell hard. It was the first time since I left Mercy that falling actually hurt and truly scared me. I opened a door and let satan run wild. I took part in a bahavior that was not of God. I struggled with many different things in my past and Wednesday, I did one of those things. I dwelt on my behavior. I considered myself bad and fallen and unable to get up.
It saddens my heart to realize that several people that I truly care about and want to have relationships with, open doors to my soul that should not be opened. I have to take caution with those relationships now, so that I no longer allow satan to reign in my soul, where there is no room for him. And it scared me that I couldn't stop myself. I didn't even realize what I was doing. Which is totally different from my thought process because I can catch a lie and take it captive but the behavior just happened and I already did it before I caught myself and stopped. I was scared and hurt and alone.
And yet, I let him in. Guilt, condemnation, depression, more negative behaviors flying all about my head and heart. Trying to hold me down and keep it a secret. I was willing to just stay down and take my beating. Not even attempting to fight back. I bet the enemy was laughing the whole time. Thought he was succeeding in tearing me down. Little did he know that I would turn to my Dad and do things His way.
I confessed to what happened. I told my accountability partner what scared me and why I did it and how I didn't even know what I was doing. I told her everything. I didn't hold anything back. I even cried, the first time since I've been away from Mercy. And you know what she didn't get mad at me. She didn't rush me. She just listened and when I was done she encouraged me. She put things into perspective.
What happens when a child falls and scrapes their knee or bumbs their head? Those few moments right afterwards are scary, hurtful and lonely. But then Daddy and/or Mommy comes running to their side. Scoops them up in their arms and soothes them. Then a minute later they are back to doing exactly what they were doing bebfore they fell.
Well, my minute last a few hours but oh how great it was when my Dad came to sooth me and pick me back up. He held me close. He refused to let me stay fallen. He refused to let me give in and think that by falling I was no longer strong. He gave me Scriptures that showed His love for me. And this morning after getting back up He had me read Isaiah 62 where He tells me that my name Hephzibah (my delight is in her) and not Desolate. I am the City No Longer Deserted. I am Sought After. He comes to save me. He is my Savior. He redeems me and He rescues me. He is my Perfect Father.
And today I can say that I accepted His forgiveness for my sin. I have forgiven myself for sinning. I have moved on. I've learned from falling. And I know now, more than ever, that God is using me to change the lives of the people around me. And satan will do whatever he can to try and stop God from moving but it will not happen. It cannot happen. And therefore, I am moving foward with my Jesus. Sharing Him with the world so that they too may realize how strong God can be in their weakness! He is sooo Good! And I love Him still, even when I fall!
Tuesday, February 3, 2009
Awakened by God, Even on the Hard to Get Up Mornings
Yesterday morning...I was extremely tried. I had a busy weekend. God worked on my heart all weekend and all I wante to do was rest. But I didn't get home till after midnight and probably didn't go to bed until 1:30am.
So, my alarm goes off at 5:30am and the first thing I do is hit snooze.
Then that still small voice comes back again:
Good morning Beloved. Are you ready?
What do you mean? I've just gone to sleep. Just 5 more minutes.
Don't be silly. We don't compromise. We don't give in.
I know Dad. But I'm so tired. Just let me sleep we can do this another time. Later today we can talk.
Oh no my Precious Daughter, you mean too much to me. Get up. Let's spend this moment together.
Okay Dad. You're right. We made a committ to each other. I will follow through.
So, I get up. I get dressed. Get ready and head downstairs to my favorite chair in the living room! I play the cd that's in my cd player (Christ Tomlin) and I enter into worship with my Dad. I focus my heart and mind on Him. I read the devotional. He guides me back to Isaiah (I've been working on this book for awhile now).
And He just absolutely wrecks my world.
He shares with me how He desires to bless me. He shows me some of the plans He has for my life. Not puting things hold but moving foward in several directions - all guided by His Spirit. He shows me what to say. He says that out of one come many and talks about Abraham and Sarah. I am one but He has a plan to bring many back to Him from my life. He loves me and even more He reiteriated how much He loves every single human being on this planet. How His children are His only desire. He wants them to choose Him but even when they don't, He still loves them.
Last Night.
12:30am - After a very long day and an amazing meeting. I recieve a phone call.
I talk to this person because God loves her. God loves her with an everlasting love and refuses to let her drift again. I talked with her until 3:30 this morning. I don't know if anything God used me to say got to her. I know that I have to be careful with my friend but I am there for her. She is my sister and I will love her the way God loves her.
So, I go to bed...thinking about sleeping in and wishing I didn't have a test in three hours so I could sleep in and skip school.
The alarm goes off at 5:30am. I roll over. Try to fall back asleep. I have the second alarm set for 6:15am. That should be the perfect time to make it to the test!
I hear it again:
Good morning, Beloved!
Good morning Abba! Is it really that time already?
Yes sweet girl. Come away with me for a while. Talk to me.
It's so cold up here Dad. I need more blankets. Can we do this later?
Wake up Precious One. We don't settle. We stick to our committments. Spend time with me today.
Okay, you better keep me warm!
So, I get up and I stayed in my same clothes because I figured there was no point in changing. I only wore the clothes for the meeting anyway so whatever. Plus, I'm tired!!!! I went downstairs, sat in my favorite chair. No music today because I needed to switch it up. I couldn't focus as easily because my body wasn't taken care of. I read the devotional. It was a good one - they always are. And I read Isaiah 53 and 54.
And again I'm reminded of His love and His protection.
I'm reminded of how good He truly is. Even in the lives of the ones struggling, He hears them and still says: "I love you. I'm not going anywhere." He constantly reminds me of His purpose and His role in my life. I'm so thankful my God wakes me up in the morning.
This is a new thing for me. It's only been a week since I made the committment to God. But if you've read any of the entries from last week you know it has been an amazing and eye-opening kind of week! It came down to a decision and a heart-level commitment to start my day off with my Dad, and now He wakes me up in the morning and calls me to come near and spend time with Him. He truly is the Perfect Father!!!! I love Him so much, there is no doubt in my mind, soul or spirit. He is my ABBA FATHER!!!!
So, my alarm goes off at 5:30am and the first thing I do is hit snooze.
Then that still small voice comes back again:
Good morning Beloved. Are you ready?
What do you mean? I've just gone to sleep. Just 5 more minutes.
Don't be silly. We don't compromise. We don't give in.
I know Dad. But I'm so tired. Just let me sleep we can do this another time. Later today we can talk.
Oh no my Precious Daughter, you mean too much to me. Get up. Let's spend this moment together.
Okay Dad. You're right. We made a committ to each other. I will follow through.
So, I get up. I get dressed. Get ready and head downstairs to my favorite chair in the living room! I play the cd that's in my cd player (Christ Tomlin) and I enter into worship with my Dad. I focus my heart and mind on Him. I read the devotional. He guides me back to Isaiah (I've been working on this book for awhile now).
And He just absolutely wrecks my world.
He shares with me how He desires to bless me. He shows me some of the plans He has for my life. Not puting things hold but moving foward in several directions - all guided by His Spirit. He shows me what to say. He says that out of one come many and talks about Abraham and Sarah. I am one but He has a plan to bring many back to Him from my life. He loves me and even more He reiteriated how much He loves every single human being on this planet. How His children are His only desire. He wants them to choose Him but even when they don't, He still loves them.
Last Night.
12:30am - After a very long day and an amazing meeting. I recieve a phone call.
I talk to this person because God loves her. God loves her with an everlasting love and refuses to let her drift again. I talked with her until 3:30 this morning. I don't know if anything God used me to say got to her. I know that I have to be careful with my friend but I am there for her. She is my sister and I will love her the way God loves her.
So, I go to bed...thinking about sleeping in and wishing I didn't have a test in three hours so I could sleep in and skip school.
The alarm goes off at 5:30am. I roll over. Try to fall back asleep. I have the second alarm set for 6:15am. That should be the perfect time to make it to the test!
I hear it again:
Good morning, Beloved!
Good morning Abba! Is it really that time already?
Yes sweet girl. Come away with me for a while. Talk to me.
It's so cold up here Dad. I need more blankets. Can we do this later?
Wake up Precious One. We don't settle. We stick to our committments. Spend time with me today.
Okay, you better keep me warm!
So, I get up and I stayed in my same clothes because I figured there was no point in changing. I only wore the clothes for the meeting anyway so whatever. Plus, I'm tired!!!! I went downstairs, sat in my favorite chair. No music today because I needed to switch it up. I couldn't focus as easily because my body wasn't taken care of. I read the devotional. It was a good one - they always are. And I read Isaiah 53 and 54.
And again I'm reminded of His love and His protection.
I'm reminded of how good He truly is. Even in the lives of the ones struggling, He hears them and still says: "I love you. I'm not going anywhere." He constantly reminds me of His purpose and His role in my life. I'm so thankful my God wakes me up in the morning.
This is a new thing for me. It's only been a week since I made the committment to God. But if you've read any of the entries from last week you know it has been an amazing and eye-opening kind of week! It came down to a decision and a heart-level commitment to start my day off with my Dad, and now He wakes me up in the morning and calls me to come near and spend time with Him. He truly is the Perfect Father!!!! I love Him so much, there is no doubt in my mind, soul or spirit. He is my ABBA FATHER!!!!
Thursday, January 29, 2009
Deborah and Jael Reveal A Peice of God
I was spending some time with Abba this morning and He showed me this chapter in Judges. And my version puts little subtitles before sections, you know. This subtitle was "Deborah's Song." And if you know anything about Deborah, you know she was a prophetess and a judge. But when God called her, she joined the battle with Barak at her side, leading the warriors. She became a mother of Israel (5:7) and rose to the leadership position God called her to.
In this song she encourages the mass of volunteers who have taken on Sisera (an enemy) by encouraging her soul. "March on, my soul; Be strong! (5:21)" She's ready to fight. She's ready to serve God when called upon. She doesn't shrink in fear. Oh, no. Quite the opposite. She sees men, afraid of their enemy and unwilling to rise up against him. She knows God has called her to be a leader, even a leader of men. How wonderful to know God is on your side and fights with you.
Then, the person who kills Sisera - the enemy. A woman. Jael, a housewife (tent-dweller). She takes her hammer and chisle and sneaks into his camp. Then she takes that chisle to his head and kills him. Sisera is unaware, unguarded, sleeping. And the enemy is defeated. His mother concerned waits for him to return, starring out the window. She is hopeful that he has won and that Sisera and his men are dividing up what they have taken charge of. Little does she know that the enemy of the God and His people has been defeated! Deborah and Barak end their song with this verse: "So may all your enemies perish, O Lord. But may they who love you be like the sun when it rises in its strength (5:31)."
This all got me to thinking about how I, a woman, can be used and called by God. God has a purpose for my life. God has made it clear that He needs me to reach His children, the ones no one else can. He needs me to lead some of His children out of cowering. He needs me to respond to His calling, no doubts, no second thoughts. Just simple obedience. How else can He use me? If I'm trying to control things that does nothing for Him and His kingdom now does it?
And with all the discouragement I face in the world. We all face it. All the lies thrown in our face, who couldn't use some encouragement. "March on my soul!!!" "Be strong!!!" "Rise like the sun!!!" God is with you at all times. God's strength is in me. The Spirit of God is my everything. His joy is my strength. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Be strong! Afterall, Joshua 1:9 says He has commanded us to be strong and courageous. Fighting when we don't want to. Not giving in. Making the HARD choices. Yes, be strong oh my soul. March on. Don't give up. Do not coward. God has given us a spirit of power, love, a self-control/self-discipline/sound mind!!! Not of cowardice, fear or timidity (2 Tim 1:7). There's just no such thing has falling in the background or sitting in the back row with God. It's upfront and in your face. Giving God first place but standing up for Him and showing Him to the world. Not cowering to the enemy. But marching foward. Marching firm. Step after step. Strong in Christ!!!! How I love Him!!!
In this song she encourages the mass of volunteers who have taken on Sisera (an enemy) by encouraging her soul. "March on, my soul; Be strong! (5:21)" She's ready to fight. She's ready to serve God when called upon. She doesn't shrink in fear. Oh, no. Quite the opposite. She sees men, afraid of their enemy and unwilling to rise up against him. She knows God has called her to be a leader, even a leader of men. How wonderful to know God is on your side and fights with you.
Then, the person who kills Sisera - the enemy. A woman. Jael, a housewife (tent-dweller). She takes her hammer and chisle and sneaks into his camp. Then she takes that chisle to his head and kills him. Sisera is unaware, unguarded, sleeping. And the enemy is defeated. His mother concerned waits for him to return, starring out the window. She is hopeful that he has won and that Sisera and his men are dividing up what they have taken charge of. Little does she know that the enemy of the God and His people has been defeated! Deborah and Barak end their song with this verse: "So may all your enemies perish, O Lord. But may they who love you be like the sun when it rises in its strength (5:31)."
This all got me to thinking about how I, a woman, can be used and called by God. God has a purpose for my life. God has made it clear that He needs me to reach His children, the ones no one else can. He needs me to lead some of His children out of cowering. He needs me to respond to His calling, no doubts, no second thoughts. Just simple obedience. How else can He use me? If I'm trying to control things that does nothing for Him and His kingdom now does it?
And with all the discouragement I face in the world. We all face it. All the lies thrown in our face, who couldn't use some encouragement. "March on my soul!!!" "Be strong!!!" "Rise like the sun!!!" God is with you at all times. God's strength is in me. The Spirit of God is my everything. His joy is my strength. I can do all things through Him who gives me strength. Be strong! Afterall, Joshua 1:9 says He has commanded us to be strong and courageous. Fighting when we don't want to. Not giving in. Making the HARD choices. Yes, be strong oh my soul. March on. Don't give up. Do not coward. God has given us a spirit of power, love, a self-control/self-discipline/sound mind!!! Not of cowardice, fear or timidity (2 Tim 1:7). There's just no such thing has falling in the background or sitting in the back row with God. It's upfront and in your face. Giving God first place but standing up for Him and showing Him to the world. Not cowering to the enemy. But marching foward. Marching firm. Step after step. Strong in Christ!!!! How I love Him!!!
Tuesday, January 27, 2009
Sinner who hears from God...that's Me!
True love is obedience and surrender and submission.
I love my God. My Father. My whole world in One! I love Him so much that I desire to serve Him and be used by Him and not live a sinful life. I was asked yesterday if I would classify myself as a sinner, afterall Jesus forgives us so then we're not sinners. I don't agree with that. I know that I am a sinner. I don't do it on purpose. I don't scheme. I don't purposefully tell lies. I don't hide things. But I am a sinner. I am human. I have human tendencies. I judge. I have mean thoughts towards others. I sometimes give into gluttony. I am selfish sometimes. I lust after things. I can be greedy. I can definitely be jealous. But I don't do it on purpose. I am a sinner but every time I sin, I am able to give my actions over to God and ask Him to teach me new ways.
Recently, I've been selfish. I've given into gluttony. God asked me to fast chocolate I thought. So, I haven't had any for a while. But oh how I was wrong. Every so often you know God is asking you to do a certain thing but you try and compromise. God says give $500 to a charity or person and you say well I have a car payment, I'll only give $20. God says to spend your time in a nursing home and you say you don't know anyone there so you watch t.v. God says write a book and you say that you never took writing class so you work at a retail store.
How often do we compromise submission to God's perfect plan? I was filing in the office today and the Holy Spirit convicted me so strongly.
What are you doing Tamara? Why haven't you obeyed me with this?
God, I'll start tomorrow. Just let me finish this.
Daughter, can't you feel what it's doing to you? Don't you see how you're hurting my temple?
But Dad, it's hard. I can't do it. I don't really want to do it.
You can do anything with Me. I'm calling you to a higher standard. You need the balance back in your life. Daughter, we need balance in order to make a difference for my children.
It's going to hurt. It's going to really suck. Dad, it's going to be hard. I don't know how to do what you're asking, so please help me. Be my strength. Be my support.
I'm with you in everything Sweet Girl. I never leave. You can do this. We can do this. Remember, I love you and everything I ask of you is for your good!
Okay, Dad. Whatever you say. I'll do it for you.
And thus, my new life begins. I am committed to following what my Dad asks of me. Back to balance. Back to the way God called me to live. What a change. But how awesome that my Dad can talk to me even when I'm at work, in the back room, putting files back! He's so Good!!!! I absolutely love Him!!!! (even when it hurts!)
I love my God. My Father. My whole world in One! I love Him so much that I desire to serve Him and be used by Him and not live a sinful life. I was asked yesterday if I would classify myself as a sinner, afterall Jesus forgives us so then we're not sinners. I don't agree with that. I know that I am a sinner. I don't do it on purpose. I don't scheme. I don't purposefully tell lies. I don't hide things. But I am a sinner. I am human. I have human tendencies. I judge. I have mean thoughts towards others. I sometimes give into gluttony. I am selfish sometimes. I lust after things. I can be greedy. I can definitely be jealous. But I don't do it on purpose. I am a sinner but every time I sin, I am able to give my actions over to God and ask Him to teach me new ways.
Recently, I've been selfish. I've given into gluttony. God asked me to fast chocolate I thought. So, I haven't had any for a while. But oh how I was wrong. Every so often you know God is asking you to do a certain thing but you try and compromise. God says give $500 to a charity or person and you say well I have a car payment, I'll only give $20. God says to spend your time in a nursing home and you say you don't know anyone there so you watch t.v. God says write a book and you say that you never took writing class so you work at a retail store.
How often do we compromise submission to God's perfect plan? I was filing in the office today and the Holy Spirit convicted me so strongly.
What are you doing Tamara? Why haven't you obeyed me with this?
God, I'll start tomorrow. Just let me finish this.
Daughter, can't you feel what it's doing to you? Don't you see how you're hurting my temple?
But Dad, it's hard. I can't do it. I don't really want to do it.
You can do anything with Me. I'm calling you to a higher standard. You need the balance back in your life. Daughter, we need balance in order to make a difference for my children.
It's going to hurt. It's going to really suck. Dad, it's going to be hard. I don't know how to do what you're asking, so please help me. Be my strength. Be my support.
I'm with you in everything Sweet Girl. I never leave. You can do this. We can do this. Remember, I love you and everything I ask of you is for your good!
Okay, Dad. Whatever you say. I'll do it for you.
And thus, my new life begins. I am committed to following what my Dad asks of me. Back to balance. Back to the way God called me to live. What a change. But how awesome that my Dad can talk to me even when I'm at work, in the back room, putting files back! He's so Good!!!! I absolutely love Him!!!! (even when it hurts!)
Monday, January 26, 2009
3 Invites, Major Confusion, God Clarifies
The invitations:
Yesterday at church the invitation was to reach out. Be God's light and salt to the earth. Become the aroma of God. Show Him and offer Him to everyone you come into contact with. Make new friends. Invite them to church. Love them like God loves you. Become a family. Grow your family. Support them. Be their friend. Embrace the differences. Lead them to Jesus. Show them hope. Reach out.
Today the invitation is to focus on God. Worship Him with all your heart. Take your eyes off of you and even others and completely give yourself over to the Lord. Make Him the center of your decisions. The center of your walking. The center of your learning. The center of your doing. He is the reason. The only reason. Simply give your heart, your whole heart over to Him who has made it whole. Worship Him. Praise Him. Thank Him. Love Him. Let nothing come between you and Him. He is all that matters. Keep your eyes lifted to Him.
Previously the invitation is to work. Complete school. Even go away from a place I've grown attached to. Leave my Christian family and form a new one. Do something completely different than what I planned. Build the business? Be a teacher? What about pharmacy? Or other science? Counselor? Social worker? No, that's not it. Follow Him and He'll guide me. Taking me away. But trusting Him with all I do. Go back to school. Focus on school. Focus on my relationship with Him. Be selfish with this time and grow closer to Him only. Focus on me. My growth. My time. My future. My present. School, work, church, volunteer. Got it.
The confusion:
What do you do when it seems like God is telling you 15 different things to do? You got school, work, family, friends, Him, others you don't know, people to reach to, pray for everyone. Where do you spend your time? How do you build bridges and friendships with people you don't know? How does it start? What can you do? Is there anything? What's most important? Feeling overwhelmed and yet at peace with your decisions. Being unsure of whether or not you're doing the correct thing. Is God talking to me or are these invitations for other people around me? It's confusing when you think too much.
The clarification:
It's not about what I can or cannot do. It's all about Jesus. So the second invitation is where I need to spending my time. Completely centered on Him. When all my focus is on loving Him, praising Him, thanking Him, everything else falls into place. I don't have to do anything. He uses me for whatever He wants and I allow Him to. No big deal. It's at this place that God's plans are fullfilled for me life. I listen to Him and follow Him and stress not on what I can do....because I can't do it without Him. So why not let Him do all the driving and give up the control I want so desperately? It's not my place to look at what I can do because it's about what He can do and He buildes the bridges and writes the conversations. I give myself fully to Him. Always to Him. Only to Him. Wow....He is sooooo good. I love Him!!!!
Yesterday at church the invitation was to reach out. Be God's light and salt to the earth. Become the aroma of God. Show Him and offer Him to everyone you come into contact with. Make new friends. Invite them to church. Love them like God loves you. Become a family. Grow your family. Support them. Be their friend. Embrace the differences. Lead them to Jesus. Show them hope. Reach out.
Today the invitation is to focus on God. Worship Him with all your heart. Take your eyes off of you and even others and completely give yourself over to the Lord. Make Him the center of your decisions. The center of your walking. The center of your learning. The center of your doing. He is the reason. The only reason. Simply give your heart, your whole heart over to Him who has made it whole. Worship Him. Praise Him. Thank Him. Love Him. Let nothing come between you and Him. He is all that matters. Keep your eyes lifted to Him.
Previously the invitation is to work. Complete school. Even go away from a place I've grown attached to. Leave my Christian family and form a new one. Do something completely different than what I planned. Build the business? Be a teacher? What about pharmacy? Or other science? Counselor? Social worker? No, that's not it. Follow Him and He'll guide me. Taking me away. But trusting Him with all I do. Go back to school. Focus on school. Focus on my relationship with Him. Be selfish with this time and grow closer to Him only. Focus on me. My growth. My time. My future. My present. School, work, church, volunteer. Got it.
The confusion:
What do you do when it seems like God is telling you 15 different things to do? You got school, work, family, friends, Him, others you don't know, people to reach to, pray for everyone. Where do you spend your time? How do you build bridges and friendships with people you don't know? How does it start? What can you do? Is there anything? What's most important? Feeling overwhelmed and yet at peace with your decisions. Being unsure of whether or not you're doing the correct thing. Is God talking to me or are these invitations for other people around me? It's confusing when you think too much.
The clarification:
It's not about what I can or cannot do. It's all about Jesus. So the second invitation is where I need to spending my time. Completely centered on Him. When all my focus is on loving Him, praising Him, thanking Him, everything else falls into place. I don't have to do anything. He uses me for whatever He wants and I allow Him to. No big deal. It's at this place that God's plans are fullfilled for me life. I listen to Him and follow Him and stress not on what I can do....because I can't do it without Him. So why not let Him do all the driving and give up the control I want so desperately? It's not my place to look at what I can do because it's about what He can do and He buildes the bridges and writes the conversations. I give myself fully to Him. Always to Him. Only to Him. Wow....He is sooooo good. I love Him!!!!
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