What a wonderful night I was blessed with! 100 women gathered together to hear from God in solitude and then share time of fellowship. We ate food, sang worship songs, shared stories and then ate s'mores! I met some new friends and chatted with old ones that I don't get to talk to very often. And a handful of ladies even stayed by the fire until long after most people had left and we shared stories of all sorts of different things (mostly animal related though). I almost didn't go because I just wasn't "feeling it." But I am so glad that I made myself go!
Tonight we talked about the name that God has for us and the person in the Scriptures that we saw ourselves in. A few years ago it was spoken over me that I was like Abigail (1st Samuel 25) and that her name meant "Father's Joy." I have held on to that word and read her story many times. I've also seen myself in Isaiah 62 as being called Hephzibah (which means "my delight is in her"). But tonight I tried to find myself in the examples given on the paper...and I just couldn't. No matter how hard I tried, God was simply not giving me any other name.
Abigail...
Abigail was a very wise woman and her name definitely reflects the joy that is within me. However, there was something different about tonight. Tonight I was breaking the chains of a lot of words spoken over me throughout my years. Words that I thought I had gotten rid of but obviously still have a hold in my life. Things like "unwanted", "cow", "unlovable", "undesirable", and "out of place." It wasn't until others were sharing that I finally understood what God was speaking to me about Abigail in this season of my life.
She was married to a rich, powerful and evil man. For whatever reason it was she found herself in this family where she did not belong. Her husband was selfish and did not serve the soldiers of King David when they came asking for help though he had plenty to share. So, King David was ready to come back and wreak havoc upon his house. That included Abigail and the servants. So Abigail took a wise, courageous leap of faith and went to meet David with all the supplies his men had requested. Afterwards, she returned home to her husband and the Lord struck him down. After hearing of her husband's death, King David extended an offer of marriage and Abigail finally found her proper place in King's family.
You see, she was in the wrong family. She was courageous, wise and full of joy. She didn't let the fear of what her husband may do if he found out what she did stop her from acting in a godly way to honor the king and keep the peace in her home. And God honored that. He freed her from the bondage of the wrong family and placed her in a better home.
I believe that I am like Abigail in this way. I had to stand up and make a courageous decision in my family that I was in. I have to stand every day because the family I was a part of was the wrong family for me. It's no wonder I felt out of place there. God has so much more for me in the years to come. And while things happened quickly for Abigail, God has made it clear that He is taking His time with me because He has a very deliberate work He is doing in my soul. The restoration process takes time (a whole nother blog for a later time) and a gentle hand.
I know that God has already given me a Church family to belong to and for that I am ever grateful. And tonight He reminded me that my dreams of having my own family should be kept on the list and haven't gone anywhere. He's just taking His time.
I am Abigail, the Father's joy!
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